How to Sound Like You Know All About Their Job or Hobby
How to Sound Like You Know All About Their Job or Hobby
Even more insidious than hobby-talk is job-speak, or “Jobbledygook.” I still harbor social nightmares of the evening I attended a party thrown by a couple who worked in computer database management.
As I walked in the door, I overheard one chap saying to another, “When the domain relational calculus is restricted to safe expressions, it’s equivalent to the turple relational. . . .” That’s all I stayed around for.
I knew I wasn’t going to understand one bit or byte of conversation the rest of the evening. It made me long for the days when a mouse meant the furry little fellow who loves cheese, windows were the kind you bought drapes for, and the web was something spiders trapped flies in.
I knew I was going to need some technical support if I was going to be compatible with this crowd.
I decided then and there to learn some of the opening questions database management types ask each other. Which I did.
Now I can’t wait for a second chance at that crowd because I’m armed with questions like “What raid level are you using?” and “What data warehousing product do you use?” All you need are a few insider opening questions to get you started with any group.
You ask questions, listen to the responses, and indulge in elementary on-target conversation with them for a moment or two about their field.
(Then change the subject ASAP! You don’t want to fake you are more knowledgeable about their field than you really are.)
It’s All in the Opening Question
A tennis player can tell immediately from just appraising your opening serve how good a player you are.
Is it going to be great playing with you or a real bore? It’s the same in communicating.
Just from your verbal opening serve, someone knows if it’s going to be interesting talking with you about their life or interests—or dull, dull, dull. For example, suppose I’m introduced to someone and the first words out of her mouth are, “Oh, you’re a writer.
When are you going to write the great American novel?” Yikes, I know I’m talking with someone who is unfamiliar with my world. We’ll chat, but I prefer to change the subject. And soon, my conversation partner.
If, however, my new acquaintance says, “Oh you’re a writer. Do you write fiction or nonfiction?” Bingo! Now I know I’m with a person who knows about my world. Why? Because that is the first question all writers ask each other.
I enjoy talking to this inquisitor because I presume she has more insights into the writing world. Even if we quickly get off the subject of writing, she has come across as a well-informed individual.
Every job, every sport, every interest has insider opening questions that everybody in the same field asks—and its dumb outsider questions that they never ask each other.
When an astronaut meets another astronaut, he asks, “What missions have you been on?” (Never “How do you go to the bathroom up there?”) A dentist asks another dentist, “Are you in general practice or do you have a specialty?” (Never “Heard any good pain jokes lately?”)
The good news is beginning Jobbledygook is an easy language. You don’t need to master buzzwords, only a few opening questions to make you sound like an insider.
Then—here’s the fun part— when you tell them you’re not connected to their field, they’re all the more impressed. “What a knowledgeable person!” they say to themselves.
Is it going to be great playing with you or a real bore? It’s the same in communicating.
Just from your verbal opening serve, someone knows if it’s going to be interesting talking with you about their life or interests—or dull, dull, dull. For example, suppose I’m introduced to someone and the first words out of her mouth are, “Oh, you’re a writer.
When are you going to write the great American novel?” Yikes, I know I’m talking with someone who is unfamiliar with my world. We’ll chat, but I prefer to change the subject. And soon, my conversation partner.
If, however, my new acquaintance says, “Oh you’re a writer. Do you write fiction or nonfiction?” Bingo! Now I know I’m with a person who knows about my world. Why? Because that is the first question all writers ask each other.
I enjoy talking to this inquisitor because I presume she has more insights into the writing world. Even if we quickly get off the subject of writing, she has come across as a well-informed individual.
Every job, every sport, every interest has insider opening questions that everybody in the same field asks—and its dumb outsider questions that they never ask each other.
When an astronaut meets another astronaut, he asks, “What missions have you been on?” (Never “How do you go to the bathroom up there?”) A dentist asks another dentist, “Are you in general practice or do you have a specialty?” (Never “Heard any good pain jokes lately?”)
The good news is beginning Jobbledygook is an easy language. You don’t need to master buzzwords, only a few opening questions to make you sound like an insider.
Then—here’s the fun part— when you tell them you’re not connected to their field, they’re all the more impressed. “What a knowledgeable person!” they say to themselves.
“Help! Everybody There Will Be an Artist”
It’s not hard to harvest good Jobbledygook. Let’s say you’ve been invited to a gallery opening where you’ll be meeting many artists.
If you don’t speak artist, go through your Rolodex to see if you have an artist friend or two. Aha, you found one. Well, sort of. Your friend Sally attended art school.
You call her up and ask, “Sally, I know this sounds silly but I’ve been invited to an event where I’m bound to be talking with a lot of artists.
Could you give me a few good questions to ask?” Sally might find your query a tad unusual, but your diligence should impress her. Maybe she’ll say, “Well, ask artists what medium they work in.” “Medium?” you ask. “Sure,” she’ll tell you.
“That’s the insider’s way to ask if they work with acrylics, oil, charcoal, pen, and so forth.” “Oh.” “Don’t ask artists to describe their work,” she warns. “They feel theirs is a visual medium that can’t be described.” “Oh.” “And don’t ask them if their work is in a gallery.”
“Oh?” “That could be a sore point. Instead ask ‘Is there anyplace I might see your work?’ They’ll love that because, even if they’re not represented by a gallery, they can invite you to their studio to possibly buy their work.”
Big winners speak Jobbledygook as a second language. What is Jobbledygook? It’s the language of other professions. Why speak it? It makes you sound like an insider. How do you learn it? You’ll find no Jobbledygook cassettes in the language section of your bookstore, but the lingo is easy to pick up. Simply ask a friend who speaks the lingo of the crowd you’ll be with to teach you a few opening questions. The words are few and the rewards are manifold.
If you don’t speak artist, go through your Rolodex to see if you have an artist friend or two. Aha, you found one. Well, sort of. Your friend Sally attended art school.
You call her up and ask, “Sally, I know this sounds silly but I’ve been invited to an event where I’m bound to be talking with a lot of artists.
Could you give me a few good questions to ask?” Sally might find your query a tad unusual, but your diligence should impress her. Maybe she’ll say, “Well, ask artists what medium they work in.” “Medium?” you ask. “Sure,” she’ll tell you.
“That’s the insider’s way to ask if they work with acrylics, oil, charcoal, pen, and so forth.” “Oh.” “Don’t ask artists to describe their work,” she warns. “They feel theirs is a visual medium that can’t be described.” “Oh.” “And don’t ask them if their work is in a gallery.”
“Oh?” “That could be a sore point. Instead ask ‘Is there anyplace I might see your work?’ They’ll love that because, even if they’re not represented by a gallery, they can invite you to their studio to possibly buy their work.”
Technique:-Learn a Little Jobbledygook
Big winners speak Jobbledygook as a second language. What is Jobbledygook? It’s the language of other professions. Why speak it? It makes you sound like an insider. How do you learn it? You’ll find no Jobbledygook cassettes in the language section of your bookstore, but the lingo is easy to pick up. Simply ask a friend who speaks the lingo of the crowd you’ll be with to teach you a few opening questions. The words are few and the rewards are manifold.
That’s all you need to get started—two good opening art questions and a warning against the most-asked dumb outsider question.
Let’s say you’ve given a great opening serve with the right question on their job. You’ve slammed a swift ball dead center into their conversational court. Happily, thinking they’re with an ace player, they answer your question.
Then they put a little spin on the ball and send it lobbing right back into your court and it’s time for a follow-up question.
Whoops, what to do now? If you don’t want to come out of the bluffer’s closet just yet, you must master the next technique, “Baring Their Hot Button.”
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