How to Make Them Feel You’re of the Same “Class”
How to Make Them Feel You’re of the Same “Class”
Just like the finch flaps its wings faster than the gliding eagle, people of different backgrounds move differently. For example, Westerners used to the wide-open plains stand farther from each other.
Easterners, systematically sardined into subways and crowded busses, stand closer. Asian Americans make modest movements. Italian Americans make massive ones.
At teatime, the finishing-school set genuflects and gracefully lowers derrieres onto the sofa. When the ladies reach for a cup, they hold the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other, pinkie ever so slightly extended.
Folks who never finished any manners school make a fanny dive in the middle of the sofa and clutch the cup with both hands. Is one right? Is the other wrong? No.
However, top communicators know when doing business with a derriere-dipping pinkie extender or a fanny-plopping, two-fisted mug grabber, they darn well should do the same.
People feel comfortable around people who move just like they do. I have a friend who travels the country giving an outrageous seminar called “How to Marry the Rich.”
Genie was once in a Las Vegas casino when a television reporter asked if she could tell the real rich from the great pretenders.
Easterners, systematically sardined into subways and crowded busses, stand closer. Asian Americans make modest movements. Italian Americans make massive ones.
At teatime, the finishing-school set genuflects and gracefully lowers derrieres onto the sofa. When the ladies reach for a cup, they hold the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other, pinkie ever so slightly extended.
Folks who never finished any manners school make a fanny dive in the middle of the sofa and clutch the cup with both hands. Is one right? Is the other wrong? No.
However, top communicators know when doing business with a derriere-dipping pinkie extender or a fanny-plopping, two-fisted mug grabber, they darn well should do the same.
People feel comfortable around people who move just like they do. I have a friend who travels the country giving an outrageous seminar called “How to Marry the Rich.”
Genie was once in a Las Vegas casino when a television reporter asked if she could tell the real rich from the great pretenders.
“Of course,” Genie answered. “All right,” challenged the reporter. “Who is the wealthiest man in this room?” Convened at the next table were three men in tailored suits (Hayward of Mayfair, London, no doubt), handmade shirts (Charvet of Place Vendôme in Paris, no doubt), and sipping scotch (single-malt Laphroaig from the Scottish island of Islay, no doubt).
The reporter, naturally, assumed Genie would choose one of these likely candidates. Instead, with the scrutiny of a hunting dog, Genie’s eyes scanned the room.
Like a trained basset hound, she instinctively pointed a long red fingernail at a fellow in torn jeans at a corner table. She murmured, “He’s very rich.”
Flabbergasted, the reporter asked Genie, “How can you tell?” “He moves like old money,” she said. “You see,” Genie went on to explain, “there’s moving like old money. There’s moving like new money. And there’s moving like no money.”
Genie could tell the unlikely chap in the corner was obviously sitting on big assets and all because of the way he moved.
Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid? Old? Young? Classy? Trashy? Pretend the person you are talking to is your dance instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover? Watch his or her body, then imitate the style of movement. That makes your conversation partner subliminally real comfy with you.
The reporter, naturally, assumed Genie would choose one of these likely candidates. Instead, with the scrutiny of a hunting dog, Genie’s eyes scanned the room.
Like a trained basset hound, she instinctively pointed a long red fingernail at a fellow in torn jeans at a corner table. She murmured, “He’s very rich.”
Flabbergasted, the reporter asked Genie, “How can you tell?” “He moves like old money,” she said. “You see,” Genie went on to explain, “there’s moving like old money. There’s moving like new money. And there’s moving like no money.”
Genie could tell the unlikely chap in the corner was obviously sitting on big assets and all because of the way he moved.
Technique:-Be a Copyclass
Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid? Old? Young? Classy? Trashy? Pretend the person you are talking to is your dance instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover? Watch his or her body, then imitate the style of movement. That makes your conversation partner subliminally real comfy with you.
They’re Buying You, Too
If you’re in sales, copy not only your customer’s class but the class of your product as well. I live in a section of New York City called Soho, which is a few blocks above the famous-for-being-trashy Canal Street.
Often, clutching my purse tightly and dodging the crowds on Canal Street, I’ll pass a pickpocket-turned-salesmanfor-the-day. He furtively looks around and flashes a greasy handkerchief at me with a piece of jewelry on it.
“Psst, wanna buy a gold chain?” His nervous thief’s demeanor alone could get him arrested. Now, about sixty blocks uptown, you’ll find the fashionable and very expensive Tiffany’s jewelry store.
Occasionally, clutching my fantasies of being able to afford something therein, I stroll through the huge gilt doors.
Imagine one of the impeccably dressed sales professionals behind the beveled glass counters furtively looking around and saying to me, “Psst, wanna buy a diamond?” No sale! Match your personality to your product.
Selling handmade suits? A little decorum please. Selling jeans? A little cool, please. Selling sweat suits? A little sporty, please.
And so on for whatever you’re selling. Remember, you are your customers’ buying experience. Therefore you are part of the product they’re buying.
Also, read
Often, clutching my purse tightly and dodging the crowds on Canal Street, I’ll pass a pickpocket-turned-salesmanfor-the-day. He furtively looks around and flashes a greasy handkerchief at me with a piece of jewelry on it.
“Psst, wanna buy a gold chain?” His nervous thief’s demeanor alone could get him arrested. Now, about sixty blocks uptown, you’ll find the fashionable and very expensive Tiffany’s jewelry store.
Occasionally, clutching my fantasies of being able to afford something therein, I stroll through the huge gilt doors.
Imagine one of the impeccably dressed sales professionals behind the beveled glass counters furtively looking around and saying to me, “Psst, wanna buy a diamond?” No sale! Match your personality to your product.
Selling handmade suits? A little decorum please. Selling jeans? A little cool, please. Selling sweat suits? A little sporty, please.
And so on for whatever you’re selling. Remember, you are your customers’ buying experience. Therefore you are part of the product they’re buying.
Also, read
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